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Thursday, February 4, 2016

Why Singles are Entitled to be Happy

The Door to Happiness Series

What a way to start! (Sigh…) It must be that my happiness is tested. Just before posting this, I have written a long essay already when accidentally, all that I’ve written were erased in just one “unknown swift moves” as I write directly onto my netbook. Now, I can really write about happiness. (Insert laughs…)

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Like any other human being in this planet called Earth, we, singles are also meant to be happy.

In my recent post, “Single, and Happy. Why?” I quoted Phyllis Reynolds Nayhor. Again, I quote from her Alice Alone, “You don't have to be part of a couple to be happy, you know.” I believe our happiness is not dependent on somebody else.

Before I go on, let me reiterate my point. Singles are meant to be happy in the same way married persons are entitled to their happiness. Why? I also asked myself that question.


However, if you are a single person who believes otherwise – that happiness in this life can only be achieved through marriage or romantic relationship (there, I clarified it) - you must really, really be lonely now if you are still romantically unattached. I hope you will find a room in your heart to give yourself a chance at happiness. While waiting for your special someone, that is.

“Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love…but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love.”  Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

I do not claim to know the exact answer to this question. I’m not genius. All I believe is that, learning from my experience, we are also entitled to be happy.

How about sadness? There are things and events in this world that may rob us of our happiness. I've thought of that before. In fact, that's my line of thinking ever since. I realized though, that problem, pain and sadness are part of our lives, leading to our happiness. We wouldn't know how much happiness we could contain if wouldn't experience them. Or that we wouldn't understand happiness unless we experience sadness. We pursue happiness without ignoring the fact that life is harsh at some point in our lives (or life here on earth). The question we need to ask ourselves is, "Am I going to allow it to take away my happiness?"

Sadness is heavier to bear, I fathomed.

Again, I asked myself, “Why are we meant to be happy in our single-blessedness?”

One of the answers is in the question itself. I found the clue -- blessedness. Blessed.

That’s right. Singles are blessings, too! We are all blessings. Don’t think otherwise.

We are not (some kind of) a curse, contrary to prevalent notion. We just happen to be singles. We are part of this magnificent and diverse creation. Just like flowers are in varieties, so are we, singles. We have talents. We own a spot and we cultivate it according to the talents given us. Some are teachers. Some are singers. Some are writers. Some are painters. Etc… We care. We serve. We love. All in different degrees or levels of intensity, in various ways. It’s because we are a blessing. We are blessed!

Besides, our life is a life with purpose.  Now, this is the second reason I found. I do not know how we can ever be happy if we don’t have purpose.

If I finish this article, I’m sure I would feel happy because I accomplished something. It’s not a grand thing, but it would bring smile to my lips. However, I told myself, this would only make me happy for a fleeting moment. Therefore, I asked myself again, “How do I find a lasting purpose?”

I remember our employees’ orientation course when I entered public service. One of the resource speakers who were explaining the core values of the agency said, “Look beyond your daily tasks”. His example was a clerk’s menial task. A clerk’s task is to type communications, manage records, sort documents, run errands for the boss (sometimes), etc... Every day, it’s the same job for a clerk unless the agency promotes him/her. To the effect, the speaker said, a clerk who looks beyond the daily small tasks is a clerk who understands that his/her job is for the greater good of many. He/she is contributing to a big cause, and he/she realizes that this big cause will not be big without all the small jobs combined together.

That is why no one should ever look down on any person however menial his or her job might be.

I almost forgot to find a higher purpose of mundane things we usually do until I came across again this lecture of that resource speaker. But there's more!

Reading from my morning daily devotional book, I am reminded: our life’s meaning is to love. Our very life’s meaning in this world cuts above the rest of greater purpose we may find. It’s greater than “looking beyond” humble tasks. It’s the noblest of all purposes. It’s the summit of everything. With love, ordinary things become extraordinary. With love, simple things are meaningful things such as the rising and the setting of the sun – they’re never wasted. With love, we become happy person. We smile, we see beauty in everything, and we understand regardless of differences. With love, we put others before ourselves.

We can be whatever we dreamed of becoming. Whatever we do, we only have to anchor it to that great love to be happy. I always remind myself of this. You should, too, if you really want to be happy. That’s besides loving in a romantic way.

“You don’t need a significant other to lead a significant life.”  Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

This I have to say, this last reason is not the least (or the most) of the reasons above. We are meant to be happy because it’s our humanity. I'm just thinking, is there a person who, from the moment of birth, is doomed to sadness everlasting? Aside from the Doomed One... 

Surely, we will struggle in this life. There will be sacrifices to make. At the end of it all, after everything, we have one question to answer... “Am I happy?”

Love is part of our humanity, so is happiness. Wouldn't you like that?

To sum up, single persons must be happy because:

©      Single persons are blessings.
©      Single-blessedness is a life with purpose.
©      Happiness is our humanity.

Have a HAPPY day ahead!


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