Face the Big, Bad Wolf

The Door to Happiness Series

Good Reasons to Fight Fear and Be Happy

Welcome to the second part of The Door to Happiness Series! 

We, singles are afraid to be alone, afraid to be lonely. Worry not because we can still be happy. This time let's get motivated to fight our fears, so that we may pursue our happiness in our single-blessedness. Let's start with V Day. 

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Every couple out there is busy — buying gifts, flowers, restaurant reservations for that romantic candlelight dinner, a date somewhere cosy, etc... As certified single as you are, everybody just asks you about your rendezvous with Mr. Right. It is just about the right time for them to make you feel from awkward to downright sad. Fret not. Happiness is in the air, even for single persons like us.

Photo credit: WikiImages

Valentine’s Day is just a few of many things the bachelors dread. However, before you fall into depression because of V Day, here is the fact to remind ourselves about the celebration: love is selfless; with love, people are even more passionate to pursue their happiness despite encumbrances. This is true even if you are single — by force or by choice. Let the celebration enliven you instead, to spread love around, than to sulk in the corner. 

Besides V Day, there are things that we, single persons are afraid of – a place, a person, an event. Anything. If you know all the names of phobia, we probably have one or two of those phobias. I, for example, am afraid of high places or heights. A college friend of mine was claustrophobic. My female co-worker is just about afraid of many things. My nephew and my mother are afraid of cockroaches. How many is the chance that we are afraid to try out new things? Change? Of committing a mistake? Of facing our fears?

We may have our individual reasons why we are afraid of certain things. We can find a way to fight our fears, though. The first step is to admit our fears and decide to face it. I once heard someone saying “to address the problem is to admit that there is a problem”. Right?

Is it easy just to face the fears? To say it, yes. To do it, there’s struggle, of course. We are being realistic here. However, let us ask ourselves then, how do we move forward? The answer leads us to facing our fears even if it’s hard. Did I fight my fear? Yes, I did. Little by little.

My previous co-workers, back in 2005 if I recall it correctly, called me the “Batad Princess”. They came up with the moniker after my uneventful suffering of leg cramps after mountain hike at Batad Rice Terraces in Banaue (Philippines). The boys carried me with a native hammock all throughout until we reach the muster station. They even took a picture of me on the hammock like a royal princess who shouldn't touch the ground. What does it has to do with facing my fears? I'm afraid of heights remember? Well, during the hike, I had to endure walking on narrow paths protruding high up from the farm below. I can tell it was fifteen to twenty feet high from the ground, enough to jiggle my knees and stood motionless stiff at the beginning of every path. Literally. All sweaty and cold, I took a step, then another, and another. All throughout, I was fighting my legs from retreating, ignoring the voice in my head who kept telling me to stop and proceeded the hiking activity with my fellow officemates. I suffered cramps on the way back but I made it! Since then, I can walk up high footbridges in the city. Although with a little exertion, but I'm getting by.

There are fears that are harder to deal with, such as death. Since it is inevitable, there’s one way – the only way — to help me. That is prayer.

What does tackling our fears have to do with our happiness?

I guess you have your own answer by now. Nonetheless, allow me to give me mine. You are invited to add your answers.

  • Œ Life would be boring.
  •  We would be stuck wherever we are.
  • Ž Eventually, we would miss wonderful experiences in life;
  •  And go places or meet more people.
  •  We would miss fulfilling our life’s purpose.

Facing our fears would open up many opportunities for us. We don’t know what’s waiting for us. Therefore, it’s better to miss some “what ifs” and many “had been” than miss it altogether by never grabbing the opportunities set before us. Otherwise, life would be dull.

Facing our fears would help us move forward. If we were afraid to forgive and let go of anger, we wouldn't know how happy we would be or see the opportunities before us. If the first reason above would “open up” opportunities for us, this reason would let us “see” the chances in front us. If I didn't fight my fear of high places, I could have missed travelling. I would be stuck in the house, in our community and never go places.

Facing our fears would give us many wonderful experiences in life. You wouldn't believe it but in spite of my leg cramp, I was happy to see the Batad Rice Terraces. I was able to see the marvellous beauty of the world-famous rice terraces every Igorot(s) and Ifugao(s) would be very proud of for aeons to come.

Facing our fears would mean the joy of meeting people. I met few very accommodating people at Batad. In fact, I had the chance to “interview” them about their culture while I was in hammock. That brings me to understand people of different culture. You know what, that helped me become mindful of other people, of their beliefs, even if it’s contrary to mine. I treasure that very meaningful experience to this day.  

Facing our fears would ease the fulfilment of our purpose in life. Remember that our greatest purpose is to love. So all the things we would do should always be fastened to love.

Conquer your fear of Valentine’s Day. Face all your other fears. It’s not easy so use the available gift, it's free – prayer. Then take the baby steps.

God created us with an overwhelming desire to soar. Our desire to develop and use every ounce of potential. He's placed in us is not egotistical. He designed us to be tremendously productive and "to mount up with wings like eagles," realistically dreaming of what He can do with our potential.  - Carol Kent 
(Words to Warm a Woman's Heart. Copyright 2012 by Shepherd House Publishers, Inc.) 

Do not be afraid! Grab that knob of the door to happiness.



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