Is There Happiness If You Are Single?

Can you be happy if you are single?

A guy once asked me that question. I was like, "Is he ridiculous"? 

He was my officemate. One day, for some unknown reason, he popped up that question. I was older than him so he called me "ate" ('a' as in aha! and 'te' as in terrific), meaning "older sister".

"Ate, you are still single. Are you happy? Isn't it lonely to be single?" he asked, all of a sudden throwing many questions at me all at once.

"Yes, I am happy!" I answered him, short of saying "Why wouldn't I be happy"?

"Well, you are alone. And when you grow old, you don't have somebody beside you", he added.

He's got a point on the "growing old part". But I don't have to do everything "alone" just because I'm single, right? 

Talking about happiness, a lot of us equates "alone" with "lonely". Or think that "happiness" can be attained "only" through marriage. Well, for the latter, the answer "may" be yes IF there's love involve in the marriage -- whether their love is one-sided or reciprocal love. I will leave the argument to couples. :) 

I can hear some of my relatives, urging me on.

"Get married! You'll be happy, you'll see"!

I was left thinking about it, asking myself if I will really be "lonely" if I stay single.

Being alone does not mean you have to be lonely.

"You don't have to be a part of a couple to be happy, you know", Phyllis Reynolds Naylor writes in Alice Alone.

In my personal experience, happiness should come from within. It comes from one source, then it spreads out. In my case and belief, that source is God. Why? 

I am not preaching or trying to convert you to my belief, but allow me to say this. My personal belief is that God is constant. We, humans, are just here on a journey. Ultimately, we will leave this place to go to a better place. My happiness will be "great happiness" (in other words 'joy') if I remain in God.

Even without trying to be spiritual, we can still say that happiness is not dependent on a person, in this case, partner. Imagine this. You're with your partner, and he/she is sad. Are you going to stay sad? No. You will empathize with him/her, but you will not stay sad. One must cheer the other. And I suppose you can only cheer him/her up if you are happy, right?

And remember our families and friends. Dog. Cat. Let's treasure the memories we have of them. We can go back to these memories when sadness suddenly visit us. (Notice that this also applies to our married friends.) ;)


Again, as Phyllis Reynolds Naylor wrote, "you don't have to be a part of a couple to be happy." We have family and friends. :)

One thing I learned about happiness is this: be happy while waiting for "the one", so that when he/she comes, you will be happier. That's time well spent. Be happy if you really want to stay single. That's time well spent, your sanity kept, and which means the world will be one less of a grudgy person. 


  1. I hear you well when you say happiness will not come from the partner, but I feel compelled to qualify that by adding that if you choose right, the partnership will bring happiness. Nice post Joan, keep writing.

  2. Thank you for reading the article! And thank you for taking your time to comment on this. :)

    Yes, I agree. There really is a risk in choosing partner or staying single.

  3. By the way, I hope the singles out there are inspired. That's my intention. :)


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