In one of the social networking sites that I joined, I’ve read blogs on heartaches, high hopes, relationship preferences, issues, etc... However, there’s not much about single blessedness, or if somebody wrote about it. I thought maybe nobody expects to remain single for long.
I tried to search for the complete and concrete meaning of “single blessedness” but did not find anything. So, please allow me the liberty to share my understanding of the word according to what I observed and experienced.
Single blessedness is a gift where a single person is happy despite the fact that he or she is not romantically involved. He or she is spending the time in a meaningful endeavor (for the greater glory of God). In other words, he or she is enjoying his/her singleness. No grudge. His / her love is a blessing.
Being single may not be a happy thought to some. Others may dread it. It all depends on how a person sees or will see himself/herself. It‘s a matter of perspective. It’s like describing a glass filled with water to the middle – either you say half-full or half-empty. And so, the coined word “single blessedness” - a word that will help us perceive single-hood or splinters-hood in an inspiring and positive view. But then, you take your pick. “To each his own” one might say.
I’ll tell you a story. I know this woman who spent her life, 50 years of it being single. You might probably ask me, “Did she never have a suitor”? I’m telling you she did have. She had many of them; some are younger than her, some are older than her. She did have boyfriends before. But then, in those years, she hadn’t settled down. To whatever reasons, I think one of the reasons was a practical one but, I won’t elaborate. Some of her reasons were too personal. In all those years that passed by, I was given the opportunity to watch her. I never once thought that she’s lonely being alone. She is independent, yes, she’s alone, yes but she’s not lonely. She had given some of her years reaching out to her family, helping them in any way she can. She enjoyed it. I don’t think she’d regretted those years. She married her last boyfriend when she turned fifty. She once told me that there are a lot of things, a lot of blessings for and in being a single. That’s why it’s called single-blessedness. You count the blessings of being single; you consider it as a blessing so that if you settle down, you had enjoyed it fully. If you ever decide to be single forever, then still, count the blessings of your single-blessedness and turn it into single-blissfulness.
Am I following her path? No. It just so happen coincidentally, that I am still single and she’s my aunt. She’s my godmother, too! If there’s one good thing I can be proud of being single at this age of mine, it’s the influence I had on to my younger siblings. The influence of not marrying at a young age (and become ‘losyang’) like what some of their high school classmates and college friends fate. I am the eldest, so I have to be a living example. Tough!